Tuesday, October 27, 2009
idealized external vs. insecure internal
The grass is idealized greener.
It seems that we, in this complicated modern society, have a tendency to idealize others. This is obviously the root of the celebrity and where the infatuation with such people comes from. But it can be thought that we do it to the people that we are aware of in everyday life as well. As we do this we relate those feelings of how we perceive ourselves. When we idealize others it may stem from an inherent sense of insecurity that comes from within us. We subconsciously know how we could like to be as individuals, morally, physically, personality-wise, etc, all of which are no doubt shaped by society. When we familiarize ourselves with others enough to project our own idealized selves onto them, it is a way to reinforce what we find wrong with ourselves.
Conversely, if we are introduced to shortcomings that arise from others we may latch onto that because it effects us in different ways. We feel better about ourselves because at least we do not (at that particular moment at least) act in the way which is deemed inexcusable or shameful, the way that is found in any particular other. It lessens that insecurity because we are not the only one to fall short of personal idealized traits of a human being. It also creates disappointment because it is further evidence that the standards of idealization are a hard bar to reach.
I have had the fortune of meeting a small handful of people who are held in a high regard in their respective field or even thought of as celebrities or at least have a certain amount of actual fame. The later category are musicians, the former visual artists. It is constantly refreshing to come to understand that these kinds of people are just as normal or posses a similar underlying insecurity that we all seem to have. On the reverse side it is disappointing to find a hollow shell wrapped in arrogance and self entitlement. It is easy to understand why these traits, when found in "normal" people are so immediately despised. We find a certain amount of reassurance in a common insecurity, we find it healthy and more communal than the kind of personality which feels like he or she is the one to command the tribe through self determination alone.